Progress over perfectionism should be your mantra this spring, so stop beating yourself up for goals not met and celebrate how far you have come.
As spring has sprung and the first quarter of the year has gone in a flash, some of us are feeling the pressure of all the things we said we would do in the New Year and haven’t quite done yet.
I hear people in the Anything is Possible community using the words “overwhelm”, “perfectionism” and “failure”, but why are we so hard on ourselves? Goal setting should be fun.
The good news is, if you are questioning and doubting yourself it is a sign that you have a growth mindset and you want to make the most of yourself and your life. Self-reflection and analysis is a good thing, but beating yourself up is not, it’s time to STOP.
It seems as a nation we are all experiencing perfectionism, overwhelm, feelings of failure and comparing ourselves to others – whether that’s in career, as a parent or in body image. I’ve been exploring this myself a lot this year because, frankly, I am bored of the constant conversation in my head. Are you?
So what have I learned so far that can help you?
If you want to improve in a certain area, find someone who is acting in the way you want to become. Do they have a podcast or a book or online course you can do?
If fitness is your goal, create a WhatsApp group with some fitness friends so you can inspire each other and train together, making it more fun.
Pay attention to yourself: spend time recording your moods and how you feel. What have you been doing on the good weeks and what happened on the bad weeks? When do you feel most down on yourself? Can your mindset around those times be linked to food (gut and brain axis), hormones, stress? Look for patterns.
Try new things - however scary and hard – this is proven to increase endorphins and decrease stress levels.
Lastly, and this is a bit more theory based, when I was recovering from OCD we used a technique called exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their fears. When people are fearful of something, they tend to avoid the feared objects, activities or situations.
Make a list: make a list of situations, places or objects that you fear.
Build a fear ladder: once you have made a list, arrange things from the least scary to the most scary.
Face the fears (exposure): starting with the situation that causes the least anxiety, repeatedly engage in this until you can move tot the next step.
Practice: keep going, and reward brave behaviour.
Once you face a fear and it’s done, it might not have been perfect, but at the end of it you will just be happy you did it – not worrying about how perfect it was. This will build your self-esteem and decrease your perfectionism, which will be overridden by pride.
As my mum says: “Just be the best you every day and don’t think too much in the future.”
Now’s the moment to be a bit kinder to yourself and seek progress over perfection.
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Holly Moore is a Cheshire-based business owner, running three businesses in Wilmslow, founder of podcast Anything is Possible, and the now annual personal development conference, Anything Is Possible Live.
